Dating an Alpha Female

By TrinaMarie Shaw

What is an Alpha Female? She is known to be self-reliant and confident. She has it all together and can make things happen. She is super bright, possesses a sharp analytical brain, powerful, not easily influenced, and knows exactly what she wants. She is similar to the Alpha male’s personality. Eager to take on challenging roles to test themselves as leaders and furthering their social standing.

Yet, the Alpha female’s dating life can be challenging leaving some of us Alpha females wondering what’s wrong with me? Trust me, you are more than enough. There is a shift in times and roles and now both men and women need some reevaluating and balancing.

PROS for Dating the Alpha Female

I asked some men the pros of dating an Alpha female and they shared that they loved the fact they are so independent and that she goes after what she wants. They perceive it as being confident, sexy and attractive. It is her natural leadership qualities that bring out the best in people, including him. She attracts and complements him. She does not want anything or need anything from him except great conversation and quality time together. She will elevate him even more. Being with an Alpha female means leveling up.

CONS for Dating the Alpha Female

What they didn’t like about dating the Alpha female, is how their intrinsic traits of being competitive, controlling, and aggressive can result in clashing of power, control, and even egos. Also, they don’t like being on a leash or always having to answer to her. There is no such thing as doing nothing and not progressing in life. You must be ambitious and want to level up.

As an Alpha female, I know that we have high expectations of ourselves and therefore have high expectations of those around us. We tend to help elevate those around us but struggle when it’s time to turn their business savvy mindset off and just relax. What I have learned is that you become a greater force to be reckoned with when you learn to be less controlling, and without lowering standards, exuded more compassion while being seen as less judgmental. There is also power in learning when to listen more, when to ask engaging questions, and when to speak less.

Furthermore, in a conversation with some Alpha men, I learned that the very thing they fell in love with was the thing that pushed them away. My initial response was that these men do not know what they want. They desire the independent woman; however, they struggle with understanding her and what she needs.

Things that Alpha women need in a relationship:

• Their Independence. Don’t try and control or place them in a box.
• Someone Who Can Keep Up…
• Need to Be Challenged. A partner to an Alpha woman needs to be able to hold his own…
• Need to Laugh.
• Need Someone who is Informed. They must be able to learn from you.
• Need Someone with Tact.
• Need to Be Called Out When Necessary. **PLEASE** do this wisely and when needed or they will lose their respect for you.

What I have researched and learned through experience is that Alpha females should do these things to improve and enhance their relationships:

• Point out what their partner did right as this will boost their ego.
• Complain less about what they are doing wrong as this can emasculate their partner and strip them from their confidence. Know that their partner values their opinion above others. Don’t tear them down.
• Learn to ask and rely on their partner and know that there is more than one way to handle things.
• Instead of speaking a directive to their partner, ask non-threatening questions, listen and learn to compromise
• Make your partner laugh.
• Be feminine as even Alpha males are attracted to femininity.

Just know that being with an Alpha female can be liberating as it can relieve the pressure of always having to handle everything. She is with you because she wants to be with you, not because she needs you. You can worry less about her because she can take care of herself, and she is extremely loyal to the one she loves.

Check out TrinaMarie’s blog or listen to her podcast on iTunes, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Anchor and more to learn more about how to have better homes and improve your mental health.

TrinaMarie Shaw

IG / FB: @beingtrinamarie

Blog: BeingTrinaMarie.com

Podcast: Better Homes & Therapy @

anchor.fm/beingtrinamarie

podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/better-homes-therapy